This past week, I found myself struggling a tad with our move to our host nation and was feeling a little frustrated. I realized that some of the things I was feeling were similar to those I’d felt when adapting to life in America 22 years ago. In fact, I was again reminded of how challenging it is to be an immigrant in a new country even when there is no real language challenge, as was the case with me. Sometimes there is just too much ‘new’ and if there is a language barrier, then life can be very challenging indeed for those living in a new country. This issue is part of a teacher’s everyday reality in California, and yet over the years as I adapted to the U.S. it had become more of an intellectual concept rather than a visceral one.
The Fulbright Handbook for U.S. Teachers had some very helpful information to assist grantees adjusting to their new host country. I was intrigued by term, “cultural adaptation” and how this can be very hard when there is a constant stream of new experiences, language, and even verbal/nonverbal “cues” such as body language, and situational “expectations” and norms that the immigrant wouldn’t be aware of. The Fulbright handbook detailed that these daily challenges can be very wearing and may lead to physical problems such as fatigue, frustration/impatience, headaches and perhaps over eating/sleeping. I related to their definition of “culture shock” and how focusing on the negatives can seep into a person’s consciousness due to frustration after the initial glow of moving has worn off.
I wondered how many of my English Learner students and their families back home feel this way, as I was after only a few months; especially those that have barely gained understanding of their new host language. Are they as frustrated? More so? Have they retreated more into the safety and security of their own community than they had intended when they arrived in their new country? I noticed I’ve had limited experiences with native Finns outside of buying groceries, or tickets, etc. I have not joined a club as we’d done for the kids (mostly due to finances rather than an unwillingness to mix) nor had I the daily interaction that Robyn engages in at the university and local schools as part of her research. I had indeed become somewhat insulated in my own community of fellow migrants, and was becoming frustrated at the daily language issues. Then, we had the good fortune to have met Jorma and Anne, and Pekka along with his lovely wife, Sinikka and family in their hometowns. Our family has started visiting a craft museum to enjoy making something, spending more time in the local library, and going for family afternoons at a local pool and sauna frequented by our Finnish neighbors. I realized that all these experiences were very beneficial with regards to making friends and feeling like a community was beginning to form around us. The frustration quickly disappeared with this understanding.
Basically, it takes time to adapt to life in a new country. It takes active participation in experiences that are often far outside your comfort zone, and a positive attitude to help maintain the extra energy required to deal with daily frustrations. Branching out of your own safe zone by taking a class, or joining a club is a good idea. The handbook shared that being patient with yourself and not taking things quite so seriously helps, too. It is also healthy to remember your own cultural identity by keeping family traditions (even simple things like Taco Tuesday and Shabat are meaningful for us!)
As for those hosting immigrants in their town, and I use the term purposefully as it’s similar to someone staying at your house, a tender understanding and forgiving attitude is key. It is not simply a matter of someone learning the language for all to be well. Be patient and cognizant that there is constant change when living in a new country; an ebb and flow of successes and failures or embarrassing moments. That many daily challenges, although seemingly small, can wear a person down or make them feel continuously foolish or unable to complete tasks they’d thought well within their abilities. Really, just being kind goes a long way, and I for one will remember this when we return home.